i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
