So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
