How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
