I just made out with a guy for $7.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
