Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
