well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
