his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
