He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
