You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
