Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
