Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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