hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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