theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
