When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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