how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
