I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
