Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
