I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
