I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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