Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
