Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
