I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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