Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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