shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
