I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
