Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
