Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he was CRYING into my vagina
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
