what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you inspire me to be a worse person
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
