In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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