how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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