Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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