dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
