God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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