Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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