i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
