hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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