fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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