my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
