i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
