Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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