Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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