Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
