please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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