Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
