There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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