We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
