Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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