She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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