I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
