You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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