Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
