I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
