I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
