well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
